A Lesson learned in mexico

Is it sunny where you are? Is it cold and dreary? As we enter February (the month of love?) the hope of warm sun, singing birds, and coatless outdoor activities grows stronger every day. I can see a glimpse of spring outside my office window as I type this post.

I recently traveled to Mexico, the land of perpetual summer. I’m a beach girl and this trip did not disappoint. We stayed at a quiet diving resort in a small, off-grid community with the best tacos I’ve ever eaten and breathtaking scenery everywhere we turned. Far from the touristy areas, we never encountered any crowds. It was incredibly peaceful, one of the most relaxing vacations I’ve ever taken.

This was my second time in Mexico, but my first time experiencing it as a local. I was only there for a week, but I saw something important. Real community exists here. It got me thinking about how often we talk about community and yet so often behave as though we do not truly understand it.

Community can mean different things to different people, but at its root there’s a sense of oneness and family, sharing something with others in a way that affects everyone involved.

I met some incredibly lovely people in Cabo Pulmo, the diving village where my son and I stayed. One of the locals was talking about poverty in Mexico and the resourcefulness of the people to make things work, and also their ability to find joy in little things every day. This reminded my friend, who we were visiting, about her time in third world countries and the pride those people take in their daily lives, people who have so much less than we do in the United States, yet joyful in so many ways. I couldn’t help but think of all the times I complain and grumble. I’m such a work in progress.

This same local told a story of one family celebrating something at their home and before the day was over the entire street was celebrating, people out in their yards with music and dancing. This is the culture in Mexico and in so many cultures around the world, sharing in the joys and hardships of others.

When was the last time you cried with someone, truly cried with sorrow for their loss not yours? How often do we sing the praises and thankfulness of other people’s joys and successes? Do we feel the disappointment or frustration when someone close to us goes through a difficult time, or are we just thankful it’s not us?

I don’t mean to be bleak, but it’s something to think about. This is community, experiencing life together, focused on the whole, not just ourselves. It makes me think about times past when people lost their homes or barns in a fire and the entire town would show up to build a new one or help them harvest their crops. Humanity is built on this idea of communal growth and development.

Do we dream together? Do we share our fears and hopes with each other? Do we take comfort in someone else’s comfort even if our own life is feeling uncomfortable? Do we share in the sorrow of our neighbors even on the happiest day of our life?

I hope we do, or that at least we strive for this sense of community. Too often even our blood relatives don’t behave like family. Our world is filled with endless competition and comparisons that leave us feeling empty and inadequate. Community builds up its members. It lays bridges and provides opportunities. Community is a stronghold of safety in a turbulent and stormy world.

What I learned in Mexico is that you can have nothing but the shirt on your back and still have everything if you have a strong community, comrades who support you, who stand by you, who want to see you succeed as much as or more so than they do themselves.

Who is in your community? What can you do to strengthen your community?

Something I have found over the years is that you can tell how close you are with someone by how much constructive criticism you are able to give and take with them. That’s the other part of community, the part that’s hard to look at, but this is what makes us stronger and brings us closer. It’s what builds trust and commitment. Being able to learn from each other, to see where we can be better, and then work together in love to achieve those things, is possibly the most integral part of community.

So how many times can I use the word “community” in one blog post? Don’t start counting now. The question I’m asking myself is how many times do I go through each day letting opportunities within my “community” pass me by? How often do I neglect the communities I’ve gathered around me? When I think about this, I realize that for all of my “community building” I may have failed to remember the basic building blocks of what this topic-trending word is made of in the first place.

So as we go through February and ready ourselves for spring, let’s look for opportunities to share in the lives of others. Let’s sit and cry with someone who’s hurting, shout for joy when someone else succeeds, lift up those who are falling, realize fears we don’t understand, and relate our own fears. Make a point to discover someone’s hopes and dreams and share your own hopes and dreams with them. Let’s look past numbness and apathy and feel the genuine loss when those we care about are not with us.

As the old saying goes: “No man is an island.” So why do we often live as though we are?

That’s a lot of learning for one vacation. I’m thankful for times of reflection, to reset and recharge. I’m also thankful for all of you. Yes, YOU. Whoever is reading this blog post, I’m thankful for you. I want to be part of your community and I want you to be part of mine. How can I help? How can we share in each other’s joys and sorrows? Our time on this spinning rock is so short.

What can you do to help someone in your community today?